Friday, 31 December 2021

Review 2021, the things I got and things I lost

  The clock is showing 11:12pm, it is almost the time to to mark the beginning of the new year 2022. In this passing year 2021,I have gains and loses in my collection,.those are both tangible and intangible.

    This year at the beginning it started with the continuation of  undesirable things from the previous year 2020,as a result of the covid19.That time I recently quitted my job to start business,It failed due to failure of planning and also there was the situation that forced me to rejoin my job again.In this year I had relationship  for the first time in my life.it  started on Dec 2020 and ended on September 2021. Anyway this relationship taught me lots of things.moreover it taught me how to handle difficult situation and when to go away from the situation which is not in control or how to keep distance from the person with conflicting views, despite having feelings(this feeling will be there, as long as I exist ) for that person.

        This year was an achievement related to health and medical front, I  got chance to get into operation theatre as patient . Surgeon  had to operate on my broken elbow.Now I am having one metal plate and 5 screws implanted in my body .This achievement cost me a lot, but at the end of the day it was an achievement, was  it not ?  

     This year I enrolled myself   in scaler course which requires serious time for studies. One of the reasons I had to break the important connections. Hope that heavy investment will pay off,. This year I bought a property in share with my father. 

        So now i am trying to write the down the things with heavy head .I just don't find anything special on 31st of Dec or 1st Jan.All I know is there will be some more taxes to pay from tomorrow for few goods.

I will update this particular post later as I go back to past to collect the memories .I can hear noises as the clock's hand come close to zero hour.The night curfew is imposed .

To conclude, it was a good year... Hope that next one will be a better one 

Sunday, 5 December 2021

without any title

   As the heading suggest I am the person without any title , as society suggests me to believe. I don't care much whether I am entitled(?) or not . But in my 36 year here in human form , (we can exclude 10 years for the sake of cognitive development years, so 26 conscious year ) I met people ,not a lots of people ,as I am an introvert.I found few categories of people whom I can divide into mainly two groups, one who does constructive criticism and another type who tried to do the counterpart . Constructive criticisms were always straight forward ,those people would say something on my face .but for the others I had to listen it from third party and most of them are not worthy to consider in future inclusion .

        I have seen people calling me mentally ill when I was in depression due to some issue related to my education and career choice .  It was illness and I am thankful to myself that I have recovered from it . There were stories  going on about me ,good and bad ,both. The same people would have commented about recent failure to establish my own business ,I yet to hear from them.

        and then there is another group of people ,who are wearing mask even before covid. They would laugh at you and comment on your behaviour but behind your back. One of them just defected the group of people(few of them used to call themselves friend) for the sake of friendship with me .She said she would not make fun of me if she would have knew me before . One question comes to my mind immediately, why would  anyone make fun of people ,how he walk ,talk or sit or do anything if he/she has not met him/her . I have seen this trait in many people .I make fun (satire) of politicians because their decisions directly impact my life.But I don't know why people do this kind of things to common people like me when they can use that time in productive entertainments.

         I am writing this sitting in my OYO room ,in Bangalore. I have found myself doing bad deal again.I always find myself other side of profit ,as I yet to learn how to bargain. That also makes me the subject of fun ,but I would say I prefer peace of mind (if affordable) rather wasting time on saving something I don't have.

        The thing is clear ,people would come and go . People who are really aligned with your mission will stay only, others will fade way ,as the fragrance of expensive perfume fades away at the end of the day.

        sooner people accept this reality sooner they will be free from all expectations. 

"দুর্বলেরে রক্ষা করো, দুর্জনেরে হানো,

নিজেরে দীন নিঃসহায় যেন কভু না জানো।

মুক্ত করো ভয়,    

নিজের 'পরে করিতে ভর না রেখো সংশয়।" - রবীন্দ্রনাথ ঠাকুর 

Update: I thought she has left the friends group ,that are fond of gossiping about others and doing destructive criticism  ,I was wrong . 

        

        

Friday, 12 November 2021

The mysterious celestial object

 13th Nov,2021,Kolkata

                    Yesterday in the evening around 8 o'clock,I was walking on the rooftop and doing sky gazing  as usual.I analyse the Landing and take off of the aircrafts for fun during my stay at there for fun.

So I was doing that ,and suddenly I notice a celestial object in the sky at north west direction .it was white and bright. As for last few week the landing is taking place from the south east direction ,it was really unusual to find any aircraft that low in that direction. And also it was not moving at all .At first I though it might be some kind of firework ,as Diwali has just ended .But then I thought I should probe into it .So i bring out my phone and opened the star tracker sky gazing augmented reality app to check which celestial object was it .the Star tracker app shows all the celestial object in app in that direction it is targeted to.

            I thought I was about to be a part of a mysterious celestial event .So I pointed my phone to the north west direction ,towards the direction of bright object in the sky .but on the screen it does not show anything like start or planet .neither I had any info regarding any such event.it showing M51 galaxy ,nearby.the light was bright and it did not move ,so I thought it definitely would not be an aircraft .

            Then was it an UFO (that thing did not strike me then though)!!! it was dark ,and suddenly I noticed that the light started moving towards south with a speed ,I assume it was 3-4 km away from my location and it got vanished .Mean while from the south direction two aeroplane landed . Then after 2-3 min I heard a familiar but unusual sound of moving rotor blades ,and I found that mysterious celestial object appeared again and was alining itself from south direction with the runway ,probably using its Localizer and ILS for its vertical slope. When the object was passing by over the building nearby ,even in dark I could see that it was small private Helicopter. And it took the opportunity from me to be a part of the mysterious experience . 

 

Friday, 24 September 2021

When I broke my arm

It was around 12, noon, 28th of April 2021, the West Bengal election time, new Government was about to be elected. I was doing work from home. The meeting ended a few minutes ago and I thought of watering the plants on the balcony so I filled a mug from the bathroom and went to the balcony, finished my job and when returning I slipped on a tiny H ₂O ₂ residual(we call it water) mixed with detergent that splashed during the process of filling the water in the mug.

Anyway, within a few seconds, I found myself lying down on the floor with my right arm which did not look usual, and I knew there was something wrong with it. I broke my right-hand elbow joint(I will describe it in medical terms later ). Anyway, my parents were worried and my friend came from her home, though it was a work day for her too. Me and my brother rushed to a doctor (not so)nearby clinic at CIT road. Before that, I informed my manager that I would not be able to work for at least two weeks. Anyway, in the evening I visited another surgeon with the help of her(that friend’s) father, and I decided to go for surgery at advised by Dr. Mondal.

During these periods I was not afraid or unhappy. People thought it might be a sad thing happened to me, but let me clear that it was just an unavoidable situation. Attaching sadness to it is a dangerous thing. I was not wearing the Chappals(slippers) so I slipped. I was making jokes about my situation. I also found that it was good that I had it, if it were someone other than me from my family then it could be worse, as they don’t know the Vipassana to stay calm. I will write down the journey in detail later. How the situation was in the private nursing home during COVID-19, the people and workers there, how was the surgery, all the things.

The main thing that I want to convey is that I was left with only two options. I could pity myself or I could make jokes about it and be happy. I chose the latter one and the after-surgery recovery time was reduced due to the positive mindset. I will have an issue with that hand in future, but that should not be a reason to be sad, I don’t have time to be sad about this kind of thing. People are dying of COVID, war etc etc, If those could be the reason to be sad then it is fine, as I can do something for those like donating money, spreading awareness etc. But for medical things, this is the work of a medical practitioner. I joined the office after 10 days of surgery and started working for half a day. My coworkers helped me also so as my team lead. Also, my family and that friend helped a lot.

So whatever the situation it may be you always have options to set your mind to, choose wisely.

Monday, 28 June 2021

An open letter to an imaginary friend (a walk to remember)

Dear friend(?) 

I still remember the days spent with you at parks, restaurants, in the street of this South Indian city Bengaluru. Sometimes you would dance in the middle of empty road at the time of night walk . We had fights but somehow managed to get back to the normal every night. But I am not the person you want to be with. You wanted security, but I am afraid of secure life. You wanted me to accept your sister and family members even after they insulted me like anything(the apology does not always serves the purpose, you know) . You know, I can starved to death rather compromising my self respect. You're a good person, with emotional outburst. You need to control it and remember one thing that money is important but it is not the reason to be happy, at least for me, it is not. I know people in Bangalore with same or less experience earning money twice than I am earning, but you know I am happy, I will go for earning more but my happiness is more important.you know I returned to Bangalore not for job or because my business plan that I said "it did not work(I have even not tried) ". Thank you for the journey of few months and taking care of me when I was not well, I will not say I had a great time, but I have learnt things. I will miss the warmth of your touch(? ) . I Wish you a good future. Good bye my good friend.

From

Captain Nemo

Monday, 28 December 2020

Farewell notes to this city

    I want to close the Bengaluru chapter in a positive note. To draw the picture of the state of mind I will tell two metaphors. First one is the sports metaphor related to my favourite football team Germany. I have seen they will always be in-game till the final whistle blown. I have seen them scoring at the last moment fo the match. Basically, I want to convey that good thing can happen at the end of the journey. so I am happy, not doing much of work, but collecting good experiences, moments and storing them in my memory and in my heart. the Second metaphor contradicting the first one, making the whole thing ironic.

  This one is about a TV series from our neighbourhood country Bangladesh, named "Housefull". This one is a comedy serial recommended by one of my friends. it is based on rally funny story and having all together 120 episodes. The story is based on a family living in Dhaka and relatives are coming to their home and staying there for a long time and their interaction with neighbours. But at the end of the series, people were leaving the house for the purpose of jobs and education. So the comedy serial ended up in a little bit sad note. The retired and old members fo that family were not happy about the fact. So as I decided to leave this city I am having the feeling that my good time here in this city has come to an end.

      Now when I am waiting for my full and final settlement and meeting my friends in between and planning for my next steps I am just in that mixed state of mind described above.

NB:- I will be returning to Bangalore soon.

Wednesday, 11 November 2020

Job or Entrepreneurship ...both are the ways to achieve dreams

     As time is going so fast and the days remaining to stay here in south India and in Bangalore is decreasing gradually, I have already started missing the time spent here. But I have to go back and give my so-called Entrepreneur soul the first chance. I have a few days left for my job,24th Nov 2020 is the proposed date. So in this situation, lots of things working on my mind.last week death of my nearest relative due to corona and also my family and friends were questioning my decision, put me in a situation to reconsider my resignation. So there was a resignation withdrawal process about to commence, but I told them that I was sticking to my previous decision, even knowing the risk of starting a small scale industry in this Covid infested economical situation.

       So during this time, I was having a discussion about Jobs and business with one of my friends over the phone. I was supporting my point of view about entrepreneurship and how more and more Bengalis should join the trend, so he asked if I was opposing doing jobs in government or private sector. He said if everyone was doing business then who will work for the business. That day I had no clear answer to his question. Later couple of other people, on social media also asked me the same kind of question doubting their career. I think this just the difference in the way of thinking. When we are doing business, we take the risk.  Providing a salary to the employee even it is one person, and that maybe only you, is one important thing with other responsibilities. For a job, the responsibility is to follow the commands to carry out the work smoothly. This also required a huge amount of creativity or skills or both. But still, people would complain about how boring his/her job is and there is a definite reason for that. All the roots are connected to our social norm and our socio-economic structure. And our age-old education system creating these structure. Our aim to do any job is to earn money, work gets the second priority. Those who give the work as a first priority gets the money as well. For government job I have seen people are opting for it as it is secure not that they love that job. No one in school is trained to join those jobs. Have you seen many pupils saying that they want to be a Bus-conductor or a clerk in BLRO office or a bank clerk? No there is no training to set up the mindset for those jobs. In the private sector, we sometimes have the privilege to select the job. But for government or public sector most of the people doing those to earn money. In fact, the harsh reality is even if people want to do the job they want to do whether in the public or private sector, but because of the huge population of India, it is really hard to get that. The same thing is applied for education too.I have seen my relatives and my coworkers are working on a domain different from their subject of study. There may be to reason,1.they might not be able to get the subject they wanted to study 2.they might have grown an interest in that domain lately.in the later case, the issue with work anxiety is not there. In business, we choose the path which we want to walk along, for Jobs we don't have many degrees of freedom. In both cases, we face the critical situation but for business, it is mostly our own decision so we don't complain, but for Job, any rise of any unpleasant situation forces us to question about our career choices.

           So the thing is that if it is Job or Entrepreneurship or any other things like arts, music, sports etc all of them have ups and downs. So if someone finds himself in a difficult situation in professional life then, considering the things he likes to do might help. But taking a hasty decision may not be fruitful. The simple mantra is doing whatever you like to do, as long as you courage and a little bit back up. For Jobs, we can explore new arenas within and we can upgrade ourselves if we are enough passionate about our works.

The main thing is passion, whether you are a bank clerk, a software engineer, a writer, a rickshaw puller whatever you are if you like the job, you will be always happy even in difficult situations, Otherwise, find your passion and follow your heart don't think about the outcome much.No one in the world will going stop you. Dream big and try to add some value to society. Another thing I would like to add. These words were said my Late Prof Randy Pausch in his "Last Lecture" and walking down the line for these much years in life, I am realizing those words. It says

“It's a thrill to fulfil your own childhood dreams, but as you get older, you may find that enabling the dreams of others is even more fun.”

help others to achieve their dream, believe me, it will definitely make your day brighter.




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