Review 2021, the things I got and things I lost

  The clock is showing 11:12pm, it is almost the time to to mark the beginning of the new year 2022. In this passing year 2021,I have gains and loses in my collection,.those are both tangible and intangible.

    This year at the beginning it started with the continuation of  undesirable things from the previous year 2020,as a result of the covid19.That time I recently quitted my job to start business,It failed due to failure of planning and also there was the situation that forced me to rejoin my job again.In this year I had relationship  for the first time in my life.it  started on Dec 2020 and ended on September 2021. Anyway this relationship taught me lots of things.moreover it taught me how to handle difficult situation and when to go away from the situation which is not in control or how to keep distance from the person with conflicting views, despite having feelings(this feeling will be there, as long as I exist ) for that person.

        This year was an achievement related to health and medical front, I  got chance to get into operation theatre as patient . Surgeon  had to operate on my broken elbow.Now I am having one metal plate and 5 screws implanted in my body .This achievement cost me a lot, but at the end of the day it was an achievement, was  it not ?  

     This year I enrolled myself   in scaler course which requires serious time for studies. One of the reasons I had to break the important connections. Hope that heavy investment will pay off,. This year I bought a property in share with my father. 

        So now i am trying to write the down the things with heavy head .I just don't find anything special on 31st of Dec or 1st Jan.All I know is there will be some more taxes to pay from tomorrow for few goods.

I will update this particular post later as I go back to past to collect the memories .I can hear noises as the clock's hand come close to zero hour.The night curfew is imposed .

To conclude, it was a good year... Hope that next one will be a better one 

without any title

   As the heading suggest I am the person without any title , as society suggests me to believe. I don't care much whether I am entitled(?) or not . But in my 36 year here in human form , (we can exclude 10 years for the sake of cognitive development years, so 26 conscious year ) I met people ,not a lots of people ,as I am an introvert.I found few categories of people whom I can divide into mainly two groups, one who does constructive criticism and another type who tried to do the counterpart . Constructive criticisms were always straight forward ,those people would say something on my face .but for the others I had to listen it from third party and most of them are not worthy to consider in future inclusion .

        I have seen people calling me mentally ill when I was in depression due to some issue related to my education and career choice .  It was illness and I am thankful to myself that I have recovered from it . There were stories  going on about me ,good and bad ,both. The same people would have commented about recent failure to establish my own business ,I yet to hear from them.

        and then there is another group of people ,who are wearing mask even before covid. They would laugh at you and comment on your behaviour but behind your back. One of them just defected the group of people(few of them used to call themselves friend) for the sake of friendship with me .She said she would not make fun of me if she would have knew me before . One question comes to my mind immediately, why would  anyone make fun of people ,how he walk ,talk or sit or do anything if he/she has not met him/her . I have seen this trait in many people .I make fun (satire) of politicians because their decisions directly impact my life.But I don't know why people do this kind of things to common people like me when they can use that time in productive entertainments.

         I am writing this sitting in my OYO room ,in Bangalore. I have found myself doing bad deal again.I always find myself other side of profit ,as I yet to learn how to bargain. That also makes me the subject of fun ,but I would say I prefer peace of mind (if affordable) rather wasting time on saving something I don't have.

        The thing is clear ,people would come and go . People who are really aligned with your mission will stay only, others will fade way ,as the fragrance of expensive perfume fades away at the end of the day.

        sooner people accept this reality sooner they will be free from all expectations. 

"দুর্বলেরে রক্ষা করো, দুর্জনেরে হানো,

নিজেরে দীন নিঃসহায় যেন কভু না জানো।

মুক্ত করো ভয়,    

নিজের 'পরে করিতে ভর না রেখো সংশয়।" - রবীন্দ্রনাথ ঠাকুর 

Update: I thought she has left the friends group ,that are fond of gossiping about others and doing destructive criticism  ,I was wrong . 

        

        

The mysterious celestial object

 13th Nov,2021,Kolkata

                    Yesterday in the evening around 8 o'clock,I was walking on the rooftop and doing sky gazing  as usual.I analyse the Landing and take off of the aircrafts for fun during my stay at there for fun.

So I was doing that ,and suddenly I notice a celestial object in the sky at north west direction .it was white and bright. As for last few week the landing is taking place from the south east direction ,it was really unusual to find any aircraft that low in that direction. And also it was not moving at all .At first I though it might be some kind of firework ,as Diwali has just ended .But then I thought I should probe into it .So i bring out my phone and opened the star tracker sky gazing augmented reality app to check which celestial object was it .the Star tracker app shows all the celestial object in app in that direction it is targeted to.

            I thought I was about to be a part of a mysterious celestial event .So I pointed my phone to the north west direction ,towards the direction of bright object in the sky .but on the screen it does not show anything like start or planet .neither I had any info regarding any such event.it showing M51 galaxy ,nearby.the light was bright and it did not move ,so I thought it definitely would not be an aircraft .

            Then was it an UFO (that thing did not strike me then though)!!! it was dark ,and suddenly I noticed that the light started moving towards south with a speed ,I assume it was 3-4 km away from my location and it got vanished .Mean while from the south direction two aeroplane landed . Then after 2-3 min I heard a familiar but unusual sound of moving rotor blades ,and I found that mysterious celestial object appeared again and was alining itself from south direction with the runway ,probably using its Localizer and ILS for its vertical slope. When the object was passing by over the building nearby ,even in dark I could see that it was small private Helicopter. And it took the opportunity from me to be a part of the mysterious experience . 

 

When I broke my arm

It was around 12, noon, 28th of April 2021, the West Bengal election time, new Government was about to be elected. I was doing work from home. The meeting ended a few minutes ago and I thought of watering the plants on the balcony so I filled a mug from the bathroom and went to the balcony, finished my job and when returning I slipped on a tiny H ₂O ₂ residual(we call it water) mixed with detergent that splashed during the process of filling the water in the mug.

Anyway, within a few seconds, I found myself lying down on the floor with my right arm which did not look usual, and I knew there was something wrong with it. I broke my right-hand elbow joint(I will describe it in medical terms later ). Anyway, my parents were worried and my friend came from her home, though it was a work day for her too. Me and my brother rushed to a doctor (not so)nearby clinic at CIT road. Before that, I informed my manager that I would not be able to work for at least two weeks. Anyway, in the evening I visited another surgeon with the help of her(that friend’s) father, and I decided to go for surgery at advised by Dr. Mondal.

During these periods I was not afraid or unhappy. People thought it might be a sad thing happened to me, but let me clear that it was just an unavoidable situation. Attaching sadness to it is a dangerous thing. I was not wearing the Chappals(slippers) so I slipped. I was making jokes about my situation. I also found that it was good that I had it, if it were someone other than me from my family then it could be worse, as they don’t know the Vipassana to stay calm. I will write down the journey in detail later. How the situation was in the private nursing home during COVID-19, the people and workers there, how was the surgery, all the things.

The main thing that I want to convey is that I was left with only two options. I could pity myself or I could make jokes about it and be happy. I chose the latter one and the after-surgery recovery time was reduced due to the positive mindset. I will have an issue with that hand in future, but that should not be a reason to be sad, I don’t have time to be sad about this kind of thing. People are dying of COVID, war etc etc, If those could be the reason to be sad then it is fine, as I can do something for those like donating money, spreading awareness etc. But for medical things, this is the work of a medical practitioner. I joined the office after 10 days of surgery and started working for half a day. My coworkers helped me also so as my team lead. Also, my family and that friend helped a lot.

So whatever the situation it may be you always have options to set your mind to, choose wisely.

An open letter to an imaginary friend (a walk to remember)

Dear friend(?) 

I still remember the days spent with you at parks, restaurants, in the street of this South Indian city Bengaluru. Sometimes you would dance in the middle of empty road at the time of night walk . We had fights but somehow managed to get back to the normal every night. But I am not the person you want to be with. You wanted security, but I am afraid of secure life. You wanted me to accept your sister and family members even after they insulted me like anything(the apology does not always serves the purpose, you know) . You know, I can starved to death rather compromising my self respect. You're a good person, with emotional outburst. You need to control it and remember one thing that money is important but it is not the reason to be happy, at least for me, it is not. I know people in Bangalore with same or less experience earning money twice than I am earning, but you know I am happy, I will go for earning more but my happiness is more important.you know I returned to Bangalore not for job or because my business plan that I said "it did not work(I have even not tried) ". Thank you for the journey of few months and taking care of me when I was not well, I will not say I had a great time, but I have learnt things. I will miss the warmth of your touch(? ) . I Wish you a good future. Good bye my good friend.

From

Captain Nemo