Bus ride and seat belt

It was a cloudy autumn morning in Kolkata , I recently quitted my another job within a month ,by paying hefty amount as buyout of notice period . If people ask why would anyone do that , my answer would be ,perhaps because i am crazy or out of my mind . generally this time of year , in the month of September it would be little hot and humid weather here, but this time it is completely different. I got a call from my maternal uncle that my cousin brother studying here in Narendrapur, was not well ,so if I could visit his place to check . 

Anyway As was officially unemployed(by choice) , I thought I must go . now I was thinking of availing public transportation ,instead of Uber or OLA. It was long time since I had travelled by Bus in Kolkata. maybe last time I took a bus ride in the year 2018 or 2019 here. In Bangalore I had to travel by bus for first few months. So in Kolkata the option would be Uber always ,and in recent time due to medical emergency we had to depend on Uber and OLA due to the distance of the Fortis from home.anyway most of the time I would take the front seat ,so for safety had to wear the seatbelt . 

So let's go back to the day I decided to take public transport . I found that this option is cheap too. I know it would be a break journey and may take more time than a direct Uber ride ,but I still decided to do that. Taking an auto from 206 Bus terminusI reached Karunamoyee Bus terminus ,from where I had to take a S9 or AC9 (air condition version of S9 ) towards Jadavpur.  It was Friday, very few people were scattered here and there,I found it unusual. Maybe because I have not travel by bus for a long time here ,so I was excepting crowd . I entered into the terminus crossing the big opened gate and the AC9 was standing there at the platform left side. I got onto the bus ,there was only one passenger sitting back row of the bus. I went to a back side of the bus. as I was accustomed Uber ride so , first thing I checked was the seatbelt .Then i reminded myself it was a Bus and Bus did not have seatbelts.Not only that ,as I was so obsessed with Taxicab rides I was impatient as the bus was not moving from at platform of the terminus for 15 minutes. then also I recalled that there were arrival and departure time ,before that it would not move .

so making the long story short, Taxicabs are spoiling us ,changing our habit to face crowded public transportation. 

 

Harsh Reality: Society discourages failure

     I have experienced it time to time .Due to my (So called ) unplanned life, I have seen when the life was going smooth, also have seen the darkest times.both of the time will repeat itself in future. But the thing is that when it was going smooth ,one could see people around me celebrating even tiny successes . But when it comes to rough and tough time ,people tends to not to keep contact. and I am also no exception.I did that knowingly or un knowingly in past to others. Now the definition of success vary man to man.but Society imposed norms try to generalised it ,most of the time it is based on Money or power.

    It is human behaviour(keeping distance) programmed by the mother nature , to avoid problems which may come if in contact with such not doing so well persons . But in my childhood days I have had seen the opposite of this behaviour ,people would be helping other people in need .I guess that time the sense of community was there, which is missing now a days.self centric people were there from the beginning, but the society would limit their effect with the commune mentality.

    But nowadays we all are victim of consumerism. we all are trying to achieve an unrealistic goal in life, as a result compromising with corruption, little or big, making the future existence of human race uncertain. We are trying to follow the lifestyle of western part of the world without knowing the ground reality there. I have seen people called themselves religious ,but the main motto of any religious scripture ,the truth, they avoid. we all are going for money to secure our future.The question is secure from what? from disease? from  bankruptcy? from natural calamity? actually we don't trust each others to get help from others at the old age, which is common in commune system, but not in this consumerist system .That trust issue and sometime ego ,force us to earn more(?) money, to be self -sufficient at any time. 

    Very few people like to do the work they are doing everyday. the creativity has gone from the mind of people of India .Creativity is only alive in the field of arts. In other fields we are just following order to please the clients. This dissatisfaction can be seen at the bars in weekends. we think intoxicating ourselves with liquor will relax us.  

       At the end of the day it is all about survival of the fittest . Harsh Truth.

Imagination : curse or blessing

    Today I realised that imagination can take you anywhere ,from moon to hell. My recent disaster is the result of overthinking and imagination . Today I talk to the person, about whom  I had negative thoughts  actually we both had. But when that person called after I requested to have a chat ,then I realized the texting is a very dangerous thing ,that can be misinterpreted . 

        If it were my last day of my life ,i would have no regret for anything ,as I got assurance that there is no more bitterness and we are fine with the ending of the movie .Everything has to come to an end and it should be graceful termination.

        One thing I have learnt form this experience is that whenever in bad mood, don't text.  So the thing is that Imagination helps up to improve ,invent and innovate things if channeled in right way. But it will destroy if accompanied by overthinking and channelled in negative way.

        so in relationship ,whether it is Business or personal ,if  I feel negativity I will stay way from the keyboard and will meditate.

Karma is real

   Every-time we go through a rough patch or dark time or bad phase of our life ,we try to find something or someone to blame for it ,without  realising why it happened. I am also not an exception ,but when I think deeper ,I find that "chakravat parivartante duHkhAni cha sukhAni cha" चक्रवत् परिवर्तन्ते दुःखानि च सुखानि च . It is an unavoidable circle of life ,it is some kind of equilibrium rule that nature has programmed . Only thing we can do to reduce its bad effect is to do good or at least think good, so as a result it will comeback as something good. We call it karma . people may relate it to their religion believes , but the fact is, if you did something bad it will bite you back someday.

    if people realize this fact, they probably will refrain themselves for doing  something that will hurt them in future .it is difficult ,as so many things like greed , want of pleasure ,power etc influence us to do things ,but if we can neutralize it ,eventually we will end up doing good for ourselves and for humankind and also for any living being.

        I found most of time the thing that make us sad is the expectations from others. we expect the people to be like this or do things like that and when they don't do we get disappointed . Expectations are good as in some extent as it fuel us to improve ,for ourselves we can expect to be a better person.But when you apply it to other ,the end result , most of the time is anger ,fight and  eventually eliminating people from life .

        I yet to find the recipe to maintain  the balance of good and bad ,but one thing I noticed that every dark phases I went through ,nature(religious people would call her almighty ) would always provide a light in the form of friend(who may or may not stay long ) or create some situation to meet new people who would change your life or at least the view.And that's also probably because of good karma of past .

Nature is mysterious ,and as Richard Feynman said “Nature uses only the longest threads to weave her patterns, so each small piece of her fabric reveals the organization of the entire tapestry.” I conclude this post with  his another quote

 “Nobody ever figures out what life is all about, and it doesn't matter. Explore the world. Nearly everything is really interesting if you go into it deeply enough.”

When being Positive is not a Positive thing:RTPCR

     So at last it has arrived ,probably in the form of omicron ,as if it was Delta I would not be able to write this blog with this mild fever and sore throat. Two days back when I was suffering with high fever, the lady(whom must not be named or mentioned as friend, as she instructed) called me over phone, to return few of the things that I left at my old rented apartment. So I had to go downstair, breaking the self isolation.This is one of the contact I had before the RTPCR report came. I need to inform about the report to all the people who came in close contact with me,  ,but unfortunately there is not way to update that person.

        Anyway the first two days were little tough ,could not sleep due to fever .And as I was suspecting it was due to issues related to stomach upset ,but the report that i got yesterday says it was my turn to let the virus in . Anyway even if it may not be the Delta but it should not be ignored at all. The only thing I am worried about is that my organ donation should not go in vain just because of the corona.For those two days I could not concentrate to office work or to scaler classes ,Dynamic programming is a not an easy thing to learn for me.

        I was in Isolation even before this covid, physically and mentally. I always found myself fighting alone ,Actually Everyone is fighting their own battle alone, they are  just in illusion of being supported by the people around them.In DSA we called it recursion where we break the problem in smaller single parts which in return contribute to the answer individually ,and by optimising it further we call it DP . 

       So My point is I have been to the adventurous journey we called life,I still to walk (or maybe run )a long way, the thing I observed that situations changes so as people .we all depends on the supply and demands ,if there is any mismatch you will be thrown out of your job, or from Relationship or anything . It is pure business that we all do unknowingly. and there is nothing wrong with it ,we are programmed to do that for survival. so as soon we realize the fact ,everything becomes easy. 

Review 2021, the things I got and things I lost

  The clock is showing 11:12pm, it is almost the time to to mark the beginning of the new year 2022. In this passing year 2021,I have gains and loses in my collection,.those are both tangible and intangible.

    This year at the beginning it started with the continuation of  undesirable things from the previous year 2020,as a result of the covid19.That time I recently quitted my job to start business,It failed due to failure of planning and also there was the situation that forced me to rejoin my job again.In this year I had relationship  for the first time in my life.it  started on Dec 2020 and ended on September 2021. Anyway this relationship taught me lots of things.moreover it taught me how to handle difficult situation and when to go away from the situation which is not in control or how to keep distance from the person with conflicting views, despite having feelings(this feeling will be there, as long as I exist ) for that person.

        This year was an achievement related to health and medical front, I  got chance to get into operation theatre as patient . Surgeon  had to operate on my broken elbow.Now I am having one metal plate and 5 screws implanted in my body .This achievement cost me a lot, but at the end of the day it was an achievement, was  it not ?  

     This year I enrolled myself   in scaler course which requires serious time for studies. One of the reasons I had to break the important connections. Hope that heavy investment will pay off,. This year I bought a property in share with my father. 

        So now i am trying to write the down the things with heavy head .I just don't find anything special on 31st of Dec or 1st Jan.All I know is there will be some more taxes to pay from tomorrow for few goods.

I will update this particular post later as I go back to past to collect the memories .I can hear noises as the clock's hand come close to zero hour.The night curfew is imposed .

To conclude, it was a good year... Hope that next one will be a better one 

without any title

   As the heading suggest I am the person without any title , as society suggests me to believe. I don't care much whether I am entitled(?) or not . But in my 36 year here in human form , (we can exclude 10 years for the sake of cognitive development years, so 26 conscious year ) I met people ,not a lots of people ,as I am an introvert.I found few categories of people whom I can divide into mainly two groups, one who does constructive criticism and another type who tried to do the counterpart . Constructive criticisms were always straight forward ,those people would say something on my face .but for the others I had to listen it from third party and most of them are not worthy to consider in future inclusion .

        I have seen people calling me mentally ill when I was in depression due to some issue related to my education and career choice .  It was illness and I am thankful to myself that I have recovered from it . There were stories  going on about me ,good and bad ,both. The same people would have commented about recent failure to establish my own business ,I yet to hear from them.

        and then there is another group of people ,who are wearing mask even before covid. They would laugh at you and comment on your behaviour but behind your back. One of them just defected the group of people(few of them used to call themselves friend) for the sake of friendship with me .She said she would not make fun of me if she would have knew me before . One question comes to my mind immediately, why would  anyone make fun of people ,how he walk ,talk or sit or do anything if he/she has not met him/her . I have seen this trait in many people .I make fun (satire) of politicians because their decisions directly impact my life.But I don't know why people do this kind of things to common people like me when they can use that time in productive entertainments.

         I am writing this sitting in my OYO room ,in Bangalore. I have found myself doing bad deal again.I always find myself other side of profit ,as I yet to learn how to bargain. That also makes me the subject of fun ,but I would say I prefer peace of mind (if affordable) rather wasting time on saving something I don't have.

        The thing is clear ,people would come and go . People who are really aligned with your mission will stay only, others will fade way ,as the fragrance of expensive perfume fades away at the end of the day.

        sooner people accept this reality sooner they will be free from all expectations. 

"দুর্বলেরে রক্ষা করো, দুর্জনেরে হানো,

নিজেরে দীন নিঃসহায় যেন কভু না জানো।

মুক্ত করো ভয়,    

নিজের 'পরে করিতে ভর না রেখো সংশয়।" - রবীন্দ্রনাথ ঠাকুর 

Update: I thought she has left the friends group ,that are fond of gossiping about others and doing destructive criticism  ,I was wrong .