Durga puja '20 and Covid19, in my view

    It is the day of "Shashti" of  Durga puja, and I am living in a kind of self isolation when most of the people are working from home. Actually, I choose to stay here in Bangalore as I like solitude. so before I begin, I want to state the reason behind writing this "floccinaucinihilipilification". Once I was an atheist, now an agnostic. So my thoughts are mostly rational about any incident related to reality. But my ability to imagine sometimes amazes me. This one is of those cases, where I think my wish came true in an undesirable way.

        To dig deep to find the cause let's go back to a day four years ago.it was a fine morning of Durga puja, in the year 2016 at Kestopur, Kolkata. Better to say it was an early morning as the digital clock was showing 4 am on its display. I guess it was a day of Saptami. I was about to take part in an online test for a position of software developer for the location Amsterdam. I choose the early morning time to avoid the noise of loudspeakers and noise of the crowd doing pandal hopping. I clicked on the page of hackerRank and clicked on start the test, I assumed at that time it would be calm and quiet. But Alas I was wrong as two or three  Dhakis(a traditional drummer)started beating drums so loudly and not only that they were roaming around the locality at the same time. I couldn't keep my calm and immediately lost my temper, But I did not shout and did not do any stupid thing. I was trying to solve the programming problem of some iOs app. I was trying hard to concentrate on those questions but in the end, I finished my test early without solving all the questions. It was a timed exam, and the clock was ticking. Later when I revisited the problems I found it was too easy for me, anyway after two days I got a lovely rejection letter from them. I replied thanking them for the opportunity. One thing I did after clicking the finish test button, I wished that sometime in future there would be a situation where no one would be allowed to enjoy the festival. It was rage. Now when I see the current situation this is the thing I wished for that day. It is merely coincident, but I still feel guilty of having that kind of thought that day.

                Now when I've managed to confine myself in a room of 1BHK apartment, in a city miles away from my place, I realize I am missing those beating of drums by those Dhakis, I'm missing those noisy annoying crowd on the ally of our locality. So what I did this morning is Played the soundtrack of Dhak on youtube. I am not a religious person. but it is not about religion, it is about the festival. I have heard the people in Kolkata are instructed by High court, to stay at home in this festive season and to do pandal hopping virtually. In Assam and  Alipurduar, probably the situations are the same. To restrict the spread of Covid19 people are keeping themselves at home, and those who are not doing that ended up infecting themselves with the virus. My brother and my relatives in Kolkata are Corona positive despite taking cautions. They are doing fine but what I can see that it is an inevitable thing.

              I can remember those days when I used to go for pandal hopping with my friends by walking miles.and on one of those days we five came up with the Idea of "Pratyasha", the educational initiative, which then evolved into "Raddur" after a few of years. Durga puja and Food are synonyms, We also enjoyed eating street foods at that time. I guess if the Corona were not here, we would go for pandal hopping like the old days this year, in spite of knowing the fact that most of them are now occupied with new responsibilities.  

    Anyway, I want to end this post on a positive note, that this year might not be a good one, but next one will surely be great. And when all these things end, we will celebrate all the festivals with more enthusiasm.  "चक्रवत् परिवर्तन्ते दुःखानि च सुखानि च ". Till then we all will wait patiently for the sun to rise and all the gloom will go away, and not to forget the lessons we have learnt during this covid situation.

NB: Stay at home, always wear a mask when going outside.

Why I am choosing to leave my secure job second time and Purpose of my this short term stay in south India

    So I am leaving my secure job in the middle of this corona crisis. when few are getting laid off because of this economic turbulence due to the Covid situation,(though the Indian economy was already performing badly under this current government), I choose to respond to the wake-up call. People are probably tagging me as mad, I just want to tell them if you call a deaf and dumb person as "deaf", then you are insulting the person, same is here. you should not call a mad (who sometimes thinks out of the box) as "Mad". Anyway, I am thinking about where should start from. 

      Arguably this is my second retirement from a job. Before coming here in Bangalore, I took a break of 6 months and did Vipassana, visited my home after a long time. I arrived here on the 3rd of April 2019 by train. for the first month, I travelled to nearby places from this City. Then I started attending interviews and in the middle of the month of May, I got the job and joined the organization in June. As I am writing this blog am still serving the notice period. It is an MNC, I wanted to work in a product-based MNC and it is that. I have been working in the IT Industry for 8 years. I like developing software and I know there will be ups and downs in professional life related to work. Just before the starting of this Covid situation, I have seen some changes in organizational structure, which I was worried about. But even these were not the reason to take the decision. then the Covid arrived with its full strength in India around March and we were instructed to work from home. So most of the employees went to their home and continued working from there. I didn't go, because I was not sure  whether should I go to Kolkata or Alipurduar or Dhubri. So I stayed here alone as my roommate also left for his hometown in June. I am not fond of staying at Home much, I was staying away from my home from my schooldays, and it is not a new thing to me. But what this lockdown did to me is it forced me to think about my goals. I have been working as a software developer for a long time but still did not do any revolutionary thing, I am still writing the same if-else -for -while, which anyone can write."Am I doing sacrifices for these things ", I asked myself. I did Vipassana for two non-consecutive days to clear up my mind. I found this was not the thing I wanted to do. I have some plane for the near future, so it is actually not retirement as such, but I am not going to reveal it now.so it is simple, I was in a comfort zone, which made me feel insecure. Friends said that I could try in other companies, even in other domains, but I know the scenario will be the same, maybe the pay would be a little high. I was trying to fit my lifestyle on Maslow's hierarchy of needs , and I found myself searching for self-actualization, though other layers of the hierarchy are still not accomplished. So I had to take that risk, all the responsibility of the outcome of the decision making will be on me. Lately, I was not performing well on my job despite the fact my higher authority was happy with my work. They told me to go home and to think and reconsider the decision. I know it is now like jumping off the cliff, But I couldn't help it.    

        So why I choose to come here in south India or precisely in Bangalore, It is because of the opportunities in the IT industry here. I had high expectation about the work culture here, which still holds. and another reason was a TV series, yes the Malgudi days. I wanted to discover a town like the fictional town of Malgudi. I found a few places on the way towards Chikmagalur. Anyway, this was my secondary reason to be here. 

      Anyway, I came here without Job and am going back to my home without Job. That's all folks.